What being a parent is to me..

As I watch my husband play with my daughter this evening I decided to write a post about them, my family. It's been another tiring day today which is basically a repeat of yesterday with work and a parkrun. I managed to set another PB at parkrun and officially beat 27minutes, which is pretty mega for me. I'm thrilled. We tend to get a fair bit of attention at parkrun because of running with Amelia in the buggy. She loves being pushed around and she greets everyone with big smiles and claps them all. Admittedly we bribe her with biscuits at the start and finish but she still takes it all very well. Today was only 45minutes or so in the buggy but some days she ends up in there for hours as we do our longer runs. My husband today helped to pace me and cheer me on. I certainly wouldn't have done the running without him today or any of this year. 

I love the relationship that my husband and daughter have. Despite him having to work so many hours in a week he spends time with her when he can and they clearly love each other very much. Currently he is chasing her around the living room playing hide and seek and causing great excitement. Hopefully wearing her out for bed. Our 2 year old is very clever and chatty, she likes to tell us everything that is going on and absorbs the environment around her. Those special moments when she climbs up to cuddle you and tells you "I love you very much" are a feeling that can't even be described. She loves running because we do it and would run parkrun with us if she could. She sings and dances her way through every day and from a very young age her songs have been very clear and tuneful, and I'm not just saying that as a proud mother. 

Amelia's start in life was.. challenging.. this has left me with some scars around pregnancy and babies. I have never been a baby person and certainly enjoy them more when they start to interact and have a character. I don't remember much of the very early months with her but she was always a child anxious to do eveything early, still is, she hates being held back. Sometimes it makes me sad that she wasn't a little baby for long but at the same time she still likes to cuddle on the sofa and needs her mummy very much. 

Aside from all the good though there is of course the 2 year old temper tantrums and discipline required. Gary's relatives comment on how well behaved she is but sometimes it feels that they think she was born that way. During the day I have to work hard to show her there are consequences of being naughty. Sometimes I get frustrated and shout at her and sometimes I send her to her bedroom because I really can't take any more. I'm telling you this because no parent is perfect and parenthood has it's trials and well as joys. You enter it being told how amazing it is and it is but there are times when you need a break from your child, I certainly do. I feel guilty needing to send her away but at the same time I'm a better parent when I'm secure in my own person and allow myself to be me. She loves joining in with the things that I love doing so rather than change that I let her join in. As a parent I would encourage you to be kind to yourself and stop judging everyone. We all have different methods and probably all disagree with them. Sometimes it makes it hard to adapt to others and means other children are irriating. But as much as you're feeling that, so much are the other parents, and who are you to say your way is right and theirs is wrong? No judging, parents are too quick to compare and judge. Every child is different, develops at a different pace and does things in different orders. 

Anyway, I can't describe to you how awesome it is when I see my daughter doing something. The pride that fills me up and overflows, the love and the happiness. But as much as she is the centre of my everything my daughter doesn't define me and I am still a person in my own right. I have my own interests and joys. Don't forget yourself as a parent. 

New Year

Today, New Year's Day, I'm feeling pretty exhausted, probably like most of the country. But, unlike most of the country, it isn't because I was out partying last night or celebrating New Years. For starters Gary, hubby, and I have never really celebrated the New Year, neither of us drink and neither of us see the point really of celebrating the change of the year when it's just another minute or second. I do sometimes feel the change of the year creates a boundary and a time for reflection, but I don't think this means you need to wait for the year start to make changes. In some ways people use it as an excuse. Anyway the reason I'm tired is because I need to get up at 3am to go to work. I got woken by the fireworks at 12 so got broken sleep and then the early start. What a lot of people don't realise is, just because the shop opens at 9 doesn't mean that the staff do. We needed to get there this morning to change over all the prices ready for the customers first thing. So off to work I went as most people were just climbing into their beds. After this I got home and went out for our ParkRun experience. A lot of people would tell us that we're crazy doing ParkRun especially on New Years Day and we also did it Christmas day and Boxing day, but I'd say to those people that they need to go along and experience it. 

ParkRun isn't a race or a competition, it's a wonderful community where you're surrounded by supportive, encouraging and friendly people. It's a 5KM run that happens in lots of locations across the country, every Saturday at 9am and is completely free. Our local one just happens to be Eastbourne and happens around Shinewater park and along the cuckoo trail. We love going along and pushing ourselves, and helping others too. Quite often at the finish line you are told that you've inspired someone or helped them get a new PB but also quite often you need to thank someone else for doing the same. The only person you are racing is yourself, trying to beat your times and improve constantly. Whatever you're ability you are welcomed and encouraged. Eastbourne is great because there's always a tail runner, so you aren't alone, and there is a whole variety of abilities in the group. When we first started parkruns, back in 2013, my time was 43mins. Since going regularly and training, losing weight and getting out there, I have improved my time to 27minutes. Today I achieved another 5Km PB and feel like I can push harder to get more. At this time of year there are quite often extra park runs and so, as I mentioned, there was one on Christmas day and New Years day. Tomorrow being a Saturday we will run again. 

I can't encourage you enough to go along to ParkRun and if you're ever at Eastbourne then come and say hi. We are the couple with the smiling child in the buggy, because, of course, our daughter has to come along too. 

Now I intend to have a sit down but I have some cakes to make for the local coffee shop. Because, yet again, people don't realise that because they have ordered the cake for the 2nd this means I'm going to spend the whole of the 1st making them. People like me don't get holidays or weekends.. 1st job of the new year for my business, think about putting the prices up!! 

I hope you're having a restful day. :)

Initial Introduction

As I was driving home from work today I decided that one of my goals for this year should be keep a personal blog. I'm not aiming at anyone in particular and it isn't really about anything in particular, more just a place for to write about whatever I want to.

Today is New Years Day and naturally it's a time to look back on the past year and to look forward to the next one. We have several blogs so I don't really want to write about it here, unless you're interested, but in the past year my husband and I have done very well on achieving our goals. We have both lost a significant amount of weight and become much fitter and healthier. Looking ahead to the future I have goals for the coming year, things I'd like to achieve. Ideally I'd like to lose a little more weight, run a little faster but also be more communicative, write more and make a better success of my life and be more organised. Not much to ask for I know!!

So a little about me. I'm an almost 30 year old with a wonderful husband and a 2 year old daughter. I would describe myself primarily as a stay at home mum, as our daughter doesn't go to nursery yet, but I also run a cake business, from home, and work a few hours a week in Tesco. My husband works very hard working in IT and is also a badminton coach in the evenings and weekends. Around all of this we fit in regular running (he drags me out 4 times a week) and we're training for our first half marathon in February. Some days I really don't want to be running but mostly it's worth it in the end and I feel pretty amazing afterwards.

At the moment I feel like I have so much going on that I don't stop to appreciate the successes and the little moments. I want to use this blog to help me document them, whether it's a special moment with my daughter to a big success in the business. I need to give myself time to take stock and be kind to myself. Sometimes the posts will be long and sometimes they may only be a line or two but I want to update on a regular basis and keep this going. Sometimes the blog posts may be focused but I should think usually they'll be all over the place as my mind works and filters through it all. You don't have to read the blog, that's up to you, as I said it's not aimed at anyone in particular.

So that's the initial introduction and breakdown so you know what you're letting yourself in for!