As I watch my husband play with my daughter this evening I decided to write a post about them, my family. It's been another tiring day today which is basically a repeat of yesterday with work and a parkrun. I managed to set another PB at parkrun and officially beat 27minutes, which is pretty mega for me. I'm thrilled. We tend to get a fair bit of attention at parkrun because of running with Amelia in the buggy. She loves being pushed around and she greets everyone with big smiles and claps them all. Admittedly we bribe her with biscuits at the start and finish but she still takes it all very well. Today was only 45minutes or so in the buggy but some days she ends up in there for hours as we do our longer runs. My husband today helped to pace me and cheer me on. I certainly wouldn't have done the running without him today or any of this year.
I love the relationship that my husband and daughter have. Despite him having to work so many hours in a week he spends time with her when he can and they clearly love each other very much. Currently he is chasing her around the living room playing hide and seek and causing great excitement. Hopefully wearing her out for bed. Our 2 year old is very clever and chatty, she likes to tell us everything that is going on and absorbs the environment around her. Those special moments when she climbs up to cuddle you and tells you "I love you very much" are a feeling that can't even be described. She loves running because we do it and would run parkrun with us if she could. She sings and dances her way through every day and from a very young age her songs have been very clear and tuneful, and I'm not just saying that as a proud mother.
Amelia's start in life was.. challenging.. this has left me with some scars around pregnancy and babies. I have never been a baby person and certainly enjoy them more when they start to interact and have a character. I don't remember much of the very early months with her but she was always a child anxious to do eveything early, still is, she hates being held back. Sometimes it makes me sad that she wasn't a little baby for long but at the same time she still likes to cuddle on the sofa and needs her mummy very much.
Aside from all the good though there is of course the 2 year old temper tantrums and discipline required. Gary's relatives comment on how well behaved she is but sometimes it feels that they think she was born that way. During the day I have to work hard to show her there are consequences of being naughty. Sometimes I get frustrated and shout at her and sometimes I send her to her bedroom because I really can't take any more. I'm telling you this because no parent is perfect and parenthood has it's trials and well as joys. You enter it being told how amazing it is and it is but there are times when you need a break from your child, I certainly do. I feel guilty needing to send her away but at the same time I'm a better parent when I'm secure in my own person and allow myself to be me. She loves joining in with the things that I love doing so rather than change that I let her join in. As a parent I would encourage you to be kind to yourself and stop judging everyone. We all have different methods and probably all disagree with them. Sometimes it makes it hard to adapt to others and means other children are irriating. But as much as you're feeling that, so much are the other parents, and who are you to say your way is right and theirs is wrong? No judging, parents are too quick to compare and judge. Every child is different, develops at a different pace and does things in different orders.
Anyway, I can't describe to you how awesome it is when I see my daughter doing something. The pride that fills me up and overflows, the love and the happiness. But as much as she is the centre of my everything my daughter doesn't define me and I am still a person in my own right. I have my own interests and joys. Don't forget yourself as a parent.
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